Outdoor Living

A bird enters the apartment of S.R. Fellows, a business entrepreneur living in the New York City.

“Caw”

“Stupid annoying birds these days.”

“Hey!”

“What?!?!?… It... It talks?”

“Yeah so what’s it to ya?”

“Nothing much, what’s are you doing in the city?”

“Ermmm nothing migrating here and there”

The conversation grows quiet. The bird then begins to sing. Once he is done he receives applause from the S.R. Fellows.

“Wow! Where did you learn such a beautiful song?”

“Ah, it all happened one morning….”

“Where did this morning take place?”

“In the woods, where else?”

“The woods? You mean tiger woods?”

“What’s that?”

“Oh never mind!”

Clears throats “Well anyways, let me continue my story!”

“A bird’s life begins in the woods, where time seems to flow with the wind”

“Ah, sounds nice!”

“Yes, it is…ah, and there is an abundance of food, he only struggle is defeating the local predators.”

“Predators?”

“Yes, coyotes and bears and such.”

“Isn’t that scary”

“No, I consider the city scary, with all these cars, planes, and humans. I wonder how you guys manage to live with all these objects that can kill you.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!?!?”

“You live in a deathtrap!”

Scoffs “I am appalled a belligerent being such as yourself can belittle my living environment, when you’re an animal”
”I’m an animal… what are you? A robot? NO! You are a mammal, hence and animal!”

(I apologize for the interruption, but this argument got way out of hand).

-Fast forward-

I then bust into the apartment.

“Hey you!”

“Me”

Both the bird and the businessman are left dumbfounded.

“Take him!” the businessman yells out of sheer cowardness.

“Hey! If I go down you go down with me!” responds the bird.

A couple of minutes pass by and I tell them why I am there. As it turns out, I was forced by the newspaper editor to do a story comparing different lifestyles.

With that being said, let’s just say the interview did not go so well. The bird swore to get revenge on the businessman for belittling his way of living, and he did. In fact, the bird sent all bird from around the world to attack this businessman.

A few days later, I found that the businessman was dead. The criminal investigators informed me that on his corpse lay feathers. Since the people I interviewed ended up in a conflict, I was fired a month later. To this day, I loathe my editor.